You know the day you say, "this is the day I start my diet." Then a week later it's back to the drawing board, and another monday comes. I have a different reason for kicking my ass in gear this monday though, last night my wife bought plane tickets. And unlike most of the trips we take, these flights were already packed (on one flight we nabbed the last two seats available). But there is a flight where we will be not be sitting together. She'll be sitting behind me. Which means I have to sit with both arm rests down and next to a total stranger and for a fattie like me, that is the pits. Plus I HATE flying...the only comfort is when I can sit next to my boo and she can hold my hand or kiss my cheek to let me know it's okay.
This fear of flying mixed with sitting next to a stranger has pushed me to start my journey to a healthy lifestyle. My flight is in 7 weeks so I'm not silly enough to think that in 7 weeks I'll be small enough to be comfortable in an airplane seat, but it's a step...maybe I won't need a seatbelt extender...maybe the armrest will not be as tight against my hip...maybe...
Also I've rejoined OA, and contrary to my first visit, I genuinely feel like I can benefit from this experience. My addiction with food is ridiculous. And the same way I look at alcoholics or druggies and think (why don't they just stop) I've never had the heart to say to myself. I get their struggle. The high, the urges, the pull that food has over me is overwhelming. I will stand in front of a vending machine for 15minutes talking myself in and out of getting a honey bun.That's just insane...so here's to hoping OA can help me get my mind right, and that I will have the motivation and determination to stick with this plan...
Thank you for listening.
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